How Do You Define Home?

Home is a topic I write about often. I step foot in this town and I have no idea how to feel. Here, I feel a million kilometres away from everything down a highway of forest-fire destruction, surrounded by water and trees and rock. Everything seems coated in dust.

But what is home? Is it your current location? Is it where you grew up? I’m always trying to find my place, as it seems many people are. I feel like St. John’s is my home now, it’s where my things are. My career, my friends, my dresser piled with cosmetics and perfumes. I don’t have the same sort of intimacy with this town.

I don’t recognize a lot of the faces, and they don’t recognize me. Yesterday, I picked up some beer at the store and a handful of people stood chatting at the cash, their eyes following me to the cooler. We smiled and talked, and then the elderly couple asked me my name. They were my neighbours for 10 years.

I actually grew up in the cove, then moved to this town when I was nine years old. I was overwhelmed by the new house, and the fact there were people my age nearby. We rode our bikes to the Mash Gush swimming hole every day, swam until supper time, then rode out. Things aren’t like that anymore. I’m only 23 years old, but I feel the old way of life is quickly changing. Pop culture has infiltrated every corner of Newfoundland. We’re a “have” province at last, but we’re losing other pieces of culture. How long until we’re just like every other province?

My “little” bro and I, in Morrisville.

We went visiting in Morrisville today, which also seems like home. But my grandparents’ old saltbox house has been torn down, and all that’s left are the remains of my grandmother’s berry garden. Gooseberries, currant berries, raspberries. When the house was falling apart, we went to scrape remainders from within. We tore pieces of wallpaper from the walls as souvenirs, my cousin wiping tears from her eyes. How weird, remainders of a garden and white rose bushes without a home.

Home? I have no freaking idea.

I have to share this photo with you all. These guys I went to school with revamped a school bus and turned it into a bay rendition of a party bus, complete with the Newfoundland Flag of Independence colours.

I’ve never been inside, but they’ve scooped out the inside and replaced it with a kitchen, tables, bunkbeds, and everything else you need to create a mobile, Newfoundland kitchen party. How cool is that?

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  • http://the-corny-travelers-chronicles.blogspot.com/ Abhi

    But what is home? Is it your current location? Is it where you grew up?

    Or home is where the heart is? :)

    Something I too have wondered about a lot!

  • http://amannowhere.blogspot.com Eric

    I have struggled with this of late as well. I have lived most of my life in Texas where I grew up. None of my family is there any longer so I don’t go back to the town I grew up in. Then I have moved around a lot the past few years and now I am overseas. And when my parents leave the town they are in now, where I used to visit my grandparents, I won’t have a familiar place to return to in the States. I feel like a man without a home at times, hence the name a man nowhere (one of my favorite Beatles songs is Nowhere Man). I find comfort in being free now, but it was hard at times. So I have rambled and still not answered your questions of what is home? I would have to agree with Abhi, that home is where the heart is. So my home would be where my friends and family are. I guess I am just taking the long road home and while I am out on the road I figure I might as well experience and see all I can. Cheers!

  • http://corn-bean.com linlah

    Having moved around a lot as a kid the place I graduated from High School, which is the place we lived the longest, is home to me. No one I know still lives there and I haven’t been back to visit in 20 years.

  • Sabina

    This is a great question. And a really well written post, I think. Maybe home is where you want to be, whether you’re there or not.

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  • http://classroomconfessions.wordpress.com Cammy

    I will always refer to “home” as where my parents live, even though I own my own house.

    That party bus looks awesome! I want on!

  • http://www.soultravelers3.com soultravelers3

    Good question and I’ve enjoyed your thoughts! It really varies so much for each person & also during different points in one’s life. I grew up with lots of moving around which tends to give me a very different perspective than someone like my husband who spent his whole life in one area.

    I think both ways have advantages & disadvantages and color ones perspective. In our slow, open ended world tour as a family, we’re trying to give our child the best of both worlds…knowing that the whole world is her home, that home lives inside her & that roots are valuable too.

  • http://www.bearshapedsphere.blogspot.com eileen

    I hear you on the topic of home. As wanderers, fledglings, movers and shakers, it becomes more and more tenuous, this whole concept of home. I wonder if someday we’ll lose interest in it completely. But I seriously doubt it. And hey, Candice, get in that bus! Looks like fun! (hope the drinking face-off (changed your syntax!) went well!

  • http://www.theaussienomad.com Chris

    Awesome post Candice I’ve been thinking about the same thing given this year will be my last christmas with my parents for awhile. I’m lucky in the fact that all my family still live in the same houses I always knew. A testament to small country town life no doubt.

    Hmm a good blog post idea is forming yay :)

  • http://thefutureisred.com Leigh Shulman

    It’s a tough (and wonderful) question. I sort of think of myself as not having one solid home but many, many places all over the world where I can feel entirely myself. They are all places where I can’t wait to return, not just because I want to see the sights, but because of the people I know there.

    When you enter Burning Man, everyone greets you with a Welcome Home, which for me felt strange in its presumption. It lead me to ask similar questions (http://tinyurl.com/ybgyxrz).

    Thanks for the post, Candice. It’s a subject I like thinking about, and clearly many others — especially us nutty travelers — do as well.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    I’m not sure where my heart is, I don’t think I’ve found it yet!

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Ah, Eric, if it’s one thing I’m glad for, it’s a place to always return to. On the other hand, it’s nice to have that freedom to wander, eh? Maybe home is overrated.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Funny, when I’m in St. John’s, I refer to the place I grew up as my hometown. When I’m in my hometown, I refer to St. John’s as my home.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    I think so, but what if you haven’t figured out where you want to be? Feels like my situation now.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Thank you for visiting! Always awesome to hear from a popular figure in the travel community. :) I love that you can travel with your family, I’m always amazed by people who do so…if I can recall my behavior from when I was younger, I don’t think I would have been so cooperative, but it’s something I would have appreciated forever.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    I think so too, perhaps until I have my own family at least.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    I’ve wondered that as well, if we can possibly forget about home entirely?

    I know, I’m going to make it my personal mission to board that bus on my next visti home! Hah.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Yep, my father built our house pretty much single-handedly, I will never give it up entirely for anything in the world! Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Probably the best answer I’ve read yet, who says we need ONE home?! I feel like mine is spread out everywhere…I felt at home when visiting my family in Ottawa, I feel at home when I’m with my parents, etc…but I certainly could not suppress my happiness and relief when I saw the lights of St. John’s in the distance last night on my drive back into town!

  • http://maiden-voyage-travel.com Emily @ Maiden Voyage

    I feel you on this one. I often struggle to figure this out. My parents both live in the same city I grew up in, but they now live in different houses (actually, they are divorced and have both moved homes several times since I was a kid). So while the city is my home, I don’t have a house there that feels like my home anymore. I have learned to not get attached to physical homes anymore since they both have moved around a lot. But the city (Houston) certainly still feels like where I’m from. Every once in a while when I’m there and get bored, I refer to my current city (where I’ve been for 6 years) as my home, but in all reality, the place where I spent my first 18 years will always be my true home (at least that’s how I feel now).

  • http://ibackpackcanada.com Corbin

    Back “Home” in Saskatchewan, we call a question like that a Doozy, I don’t think it’s unique to there, as you said, pop-culture has infiltrated the majority of Canada, and what was once a unique saying to a particular locale is just another word that’s been absorbed by the masses. I’m guessing we stole it though, we’re the thieving type. But this Doozy of a question…. It’s sorta like “Whats the meaning of life”. Seems to be an unanswerable question, particularly for travelers. I think as you grow older Home goes from singular to plural.

    Who says we can’t have more than one home? If you’ve got roots in one City, and roots in another, so long as you have access to a roof over your head it’s a good chance each can be called your home.

    I moved around a lot as a kid, so it was always weird describing home. It could be where I was born, the farm I grew up on during summer & harvest, the house my parents owned at the time, or the weekend stays at my grandmas. Whatever the case is, home probably isn’t where the heart is, I think it’s just somewhere you can leave your shit and know for certain that nothing’s going to happen to it.

  • http://www.theplanetd.com Dave and Deb

    We have yet to feel at home anywhere. Growing up I was always dreaming of leaving my small town, so I never felt at home there. I have always been searching for a home, I guess that is why we keep traveling. I feel at home always when I go home to my parents house, even though they aren’t in the same place that I grew up in . I guess I always feel at home when I am around family no matter where I am.

  • http://twenty-somethingtravel.com/ Stephanie

    I think about this a lot. I went away to school, and then away to live abroad for awhile, but I’ve been back living with my mother for over a year now. Home for me is very clearly Arlington, Virginia, suburb of DC. I sleep in my childhood bed and hang out with my high school friends.

    I’m actually very much looking forward to the time that I can make somewhere else my home. I love DC but I feel like a snail too big for it’s shell. The things I want are quite simply… not here.

  • http://www.cuadernoinedito.wordpress.com Julie

    Man oh man; you had to choose a heavy topic. Just started reading a book you might like: The End of Belonging. It’s actually by a Matador member, Greg Madison, and is pretty fascinating. Can send it to you when I’m done, if you’d like.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    I would LOVE to read it! If you don’t mind sending. I know postage is a little heavy to Canada sometimes.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    I know exactly what you mean, and while I do love the notion of being unattached to any one place, I do hope someday to have a home to raise a family in. Feels strange to spend time in my hometown now, even my bedroom is entirely different.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    So true, reminds me of my week spent in Ottawa with my mother’s family…I felt totally relaxed and comfortable. I think if I were going to choose another place to live in Canada, it’d be there.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Hahahahaha, “somewhere to leave your shit and know for certain that nothing’s going to happen to it.” Yis! I think home has just as much to do with “people” as “place.”

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    That’s one hell of a home history! I think I automatically associate “home” with my parents, but I miss the first town I grew up in. So weird. The more I think about about this, the more confused I get!

  • http://www.travelsofanearthpilgrim.com Graham Phoenix

    As the old saying goes, “Home is where the Heart is.” I have no home which is why the saying means so much to me. My parents and ancestors have regularly moved around countries and cities so there is no ‘family’ home (unlike my part ner who’s ancestors have lived in a small Dutch town for at least 500 years!).

    I have compounded this by giving up my house over a year ago to travel while living and working. She gave her house 3 years ago and has been travelling ever since. We live together, all over the world. We call ourselves Earth Pilgrims and travel not as tourists but as a lifestyle. We come from Europe and are currently in Australia.

    Home is where you feel comfortable and where you can relax after a day’s work. In 2009 we have done that in India, Bali, Australia, UK, France, Belgium, Netherlands, Spain, Singapore. We create our home in house-sits, apartments and friends houses. ‘Home’ comes from the energy we give ‘place’ and the love we surround it with.

    Thanks for provoking my thoughts.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Maybe it’s easier to define home if you’re travelling with your significant other? I’ve never had the experience, so I’m unsure. Thanks for stopping by!

  • Nancy

    I think it’s Mast Gush. Although there would never be a boat there…

    Remember the key we found when we were looking through Nan and Pop’s house? Never did find out what it opened.

    P.S. You help make St. John’s feel like home to me.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    I’ve always wondered that, I don’t think there’s ever been a proper way to spell/say it…kinda like Potsy’s. I insist it’s Potsy’s, everyone else insists it’s “Potcies.”

    Yes, I remember that! I was thinking about it a few days ago. What a weird old house.

  • msnovtue

    I’m probably oversimplifying things, but to me, ‘home’ is where you: 1. feel like you truly belong, and 2. can feel totally at ease and be yourself.

    For me, it’s a mixed bag– my house is home, because it’s mine (dammit), and I can do what I please with no worries. It’s my sanctuary.

    My home town of Indianapolis, (which is also where I live now), is kind of home. It’s comforting in its familiarity, and I know what to expect from it and its people. But at the same time, I don’t quite fit in and belong–I’m a little different than most.

    I think my real “home” could be somewhere in Germany, tho. I adore the place, and everything just “fits”. (My Dad was German, and my Mom is 1st gen in the US from there.) I apparently seem to think, feel, and act like one. Heck, I’ve even got a native accent when I speak German. (Thanks, Dad.) I love the way of life there.

    I hope that someday I could move there, but for the time being, Indy is comfortable enough. But I certainly don’t feel like I belong here, or have that much in common with everyone around me.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Then I suggest you get moving! I’m having similar feelings about St. John’s lately…I love it here, but I doubt I’ll be here forever. Seems like the most common answer among all these is the “comfort” thing. It’s hard to move around when you become attached to the familiar, isn’t it?

  • http://www.markfeenstra.com Mark

    Home is where your the important people in your life are. We’re part of a global community, and the concept of a single home is a little outdated. There have always been people who have ventured away from their families to begin new lives in different countries or cities, but those family and friends will always constitute a home of sorts.

    I moved out to Vancouver almost seven years ago, and most decidedly consider it home, but I know there’s a place for me in Ontario if I ever want to return.

  • http://www.markfeenstra.com Mark

    Feh, typo. Scratch that ‘your’ in the first line.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    I agree with the idea of one single home being outdated, but I don’t think I’ll ever find a place that quite affects me like the place I grew up…